I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize