The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
