now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
