just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
