The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
