If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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