He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
