as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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