Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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