You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
