Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
