So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.