Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company