ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We don't watch enough power rangers
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.