you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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