guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
