I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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