I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
