I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Alive.
So much puke
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
