Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
