I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.