i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
