I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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