and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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