home. puking in laundry basket.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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