We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
