we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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