and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
