Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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