I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize