"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
