okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
