Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
