This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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