your thong is hanging out like whoa
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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