I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
