Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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