non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
