I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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