He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
