she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
