Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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