i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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