if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
