mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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