Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
