I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize