i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
