O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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