ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
