Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sext me about skeletons
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
