jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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