Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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