I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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