hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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