i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
