so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
