my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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