My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sarcasm needs its own font
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
