just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
