Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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