I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
